Walrus terror threat high

Walrus terrorists spotted in the UK

Shaddiq – (Hammer of the voles), terrifying veteran of the 1970’s Cod War’s. Rumored to have previously received funding from British volish sources – hotly denied by the voles. His presence in the UK clearly indicates activity by “Thesea “. It is known that dvd’s of Shaddiq’s atrocities against Estonian voles have been circulated on the internet.




Al Blubaroon – a fiery Icelandic cleric, who, in a recent sermon he preached “no blubber but our blubber and death to all non walrus eaters of freshwater fish – and voles. A devout codist – he is a relatively recent convert to Thesea. Al Blubaroon lived for five years in the town of Whitby, where it is thought he radicalised many moderate kipperist walruses to his own warped creed.




Cafiq el Cod – known to have lead a troop of Thesea fanatics in an attack upon Swiss voles in 1999. A master of disguise he and his followers went unnoticed amongst the swiss populace by dressing as swiss businessmen.





Rumsi el Fizik – a young British walrus who according to his friends recently became very codist, scorning those who ate sprats pilcards or herring. Analysis of his computer hard drive which was recently taken following a raid of his former home has reveled an unhealthy interest in atrocities against voles, quack whore ducks, and fanatical support for Hull Kingston Rovers Rugby League club. el Fiziks parents are at a loss to explain how he came to have fallen under Thesea’s spell – his brother commented,” to be right honest with you, this is the fault of them voles, my brother is a good walrus, its them voles that are stirring all of this up, everyone knows that they are behind it!”

Terror Group Thesea operating in the UK

Vole┬ásources have been made aware that Abu Ben Walrusi – otherwise known as Chief Blubber has been spotted in the UK. Walrusi, leader of the shadowy terror group (Thesea) is committed to the destruction of volekind and is quoted as saying- “All grown up walruses hate voles – it is as natural as the rising of the sun – all voles and their minions – especially seals are wicked, persecute them my Brothers, where ever you may find them!”

Walrusi and his terror group are globally dispersed at time of going to print – although voleish sources claim that attacks are imminent – sightings of Walrusi inspired fanatics have been reported in Hull – where the largest cod processing plant is still located. Strict dietary rules restrict members of Thesea to costal regions, it is however thought that some particularly demented extremists of this sick philosophy have become masters of disguise, partying till dawn, making suggestive remarks to gullible members of the opposite sex and even smoking large cigars!

Volish sources say that George Galloway has nothing to fear from their investigations – yet…..